It’s time for another peek at our heart.
This peek was prompted by a big green bean day a couple weeks ago. You big kids were snipping and snapping away, and Mom had finished picking and was in the basement getting the pressure cooker going. Mom had Josh inside to help her, and Sarah and Jewel soon came in to help too. They had been doing a great job snapping beans, but we were ready for a change of pace. So they came in to help Mom.
They washed beans, they stuffed beans into jars, and they filled jars with hot water. And they chattered. They chattered about beans, and jars, and dirty beans, and lids, and rings, and pressure cookers, and tomato worms, and butterflies, and all sorts of other things that are interesting to little kids. They had fun, and Mom had fun, and the kids outside had fun too. And we got a lot of beans canned.
Even Joshua was part of the crew, filling jar after jar with beans.
Was it nerve-wracking to have him filling glass jars three feet above a concrete floor? Yes, a little. Did he drop any beans on the floor? Yes, a lot. Did he drop any jars? No, thankfully, but he could have, and he would have, had Mom not been watching like a hawk! More than one jar was moved back from the edge, and more than one jar tipped over and rolled. Would it have been easier for Mom to do it all herself? Probably, and less stressful, but then Josh wouldn’t have been helping. He wouldn’t have been part of the crew.
TakeAway One: Every child needs to be part of the crew. Every single child on earth needs to be needed. Remember that as you big kids work with your younger siblings, and remember that when God blesses you with children of your own. Absolutely it’s usually faster to do the job yourself. Absolutely the job is done better by someone older. And absolutely it’s sometimes more fun to just dig in and get it done yourself rather than adjust your pace to that of a two- or five- or seven-year-old.
But remember a couple of things.
One. When you slow down and take the extra time to teach someone younger, whether it be a sibling or your own child, you are teaching yourself out of a job. Tori, you used to be responsible for all of the bread baking. Over time, you patiently worked with Kate as she learned the task from you. And now, you share the job with her, only baking bread half as much as you used to. Eventually the time will come when Kate does it all, and Tori is freed to do other tasks. Ben, you used to let Sarah wash the eggs with you; and now, she does them all herself. You taught her your job, and then you gave it to her. Sure, you have other jobs, but washing eggs is not one of them.
Two. When you snip and snip and snip for hours on end, with no complaining and a good attitude (story tapes help, don’t they?!), you are helping Dad & Mom teach the younger kids that work is a part of life, and work is not bad. You are being an excellent example for them. Thank you for that.
TakeAway Two: Don’t wait until your kids are five before you start teaching them to help. Don’t even wait until they are two. A child who can pull toys out is big enough to put them away. Levi, I think you were only eighteen months old when Dad started you on dishes. Jesse wasn’t born yet, so you weren’t much older than that anyway, but Dad had you on the chair rinsing dishes every night. When we lived in Morton, we didn’t have an automatic dishwasher; Dad was the dishwasher after supper. Mom would clear and put leftover food away, and Dad would wash. And Levi, you would drag your chair over to the sink and chatter away while you rinsed the dishes Daddy gave to you. Did you drop some? I’m sure you did. Did you get sopping wet? I’m sure you did that too. Did it take us longer? At first I’m sure it did – but when the time came that you were more productive than destructive, you were all about it, because you knew you were helping. You knew Daddy & Mommy needed you to rinse dishes, because you were part of the crew. You were helping.
So what else can a two-year-old do? Lots.
Collect trash from various rooms and dump it all into a larger trashcan. Dry dishes. Put silverware away. Put dishes away. Fold washcloths and kitchen towels. Fold Daddy’s handkerchiefs. Rinse dishes. Put toys away. Put books away. Put away anything they can get out! Set the table.
Josh doesn’t do all these yet, but he does do many of them, and he is certainly capable of doing all of them. Now, will the silverware all be in the same direction? Probably not. (Does it matter?) Will the washcloths and kitchen towels be folded all prim and proper-like? Probably not. (Does it matter?) Might the toys be in a big jumbled mess in the closet? Probably. (Does it matter?)
No, at this stage it doesn’t matter. Later it will matter, but for now it doesn’t. What matters is that he is helping. He is part of the crew.
Should boys have to do this housework? Absolutely! The time will come that they will learn to do men’s work, but for now they are with Mama all the time, and they will help Mama with Mama’s jobs. And Mama pro’ly ain’t milkin’ the cows an’ sloppin’ the hogs! But if she is – by all means, junior can help! And you have all seen Dad do every single task he asks you to do – because his mom taught him well!
You bigger kids do a great job of letting the littles help you with your jobs, and we are really glad for that. It helps us get the work done, it makes them part of the crew, and it teaches them the basic life principle of WORK. Although our first goal in life is to see you kids born again, an important second goal is to see you effectively contributing to society. And it starts in the first society you know – our home.
Thanks, kids, for all the work you do on the trail and for helping us teach our little ones to work, too.
Keep on keepin’ on.
Dad & Mom
