2-11-13 February Blues

Recently I had the opportunity to visit with a few moms just like me. Those other moms, just like me, were experiencing the effects of a strange malady which I have come to think of as the February Blues. This malady presents symptoms of a general blah feeling accompanied by a lack of patience, an overabundance of sharpness, and the presence of irritability. And then, after all these symptoms barge their way into the day and color it ugly, the way is opened up for guilt to creep in and convince us that we are horrible moms, that we are ruining our precious kids that we love more than life itself, that we are failures, and that we are NOT going to make it until spring. Said guilt feelings exacerbate the aforementioned general blah feelings, and the cycle continues.

Yuk.

Well, this post is an attempt to do what we were exhorted to do on Sunday: to encourage others. 

Specifically, I want to encourage other moms who are struggling with this nasty condition.

I’m quite sure there are some moms out there who can’t relate, and to them I say, “Do be thankful!”

So January seems to fly by, as holidays spill over into the early part of the month and kids are content for the most part to play inside with new toys and games from Christmas (of course with their daily dose of fresh air, though)(guess where the kids are now?!). March is blustery and rainy and can be nasty, but usually sprinkled amidst the nasty days are blue skies and warmer days when kids can hardly wait to get outside and don’t want to come back in. Those days are gems. Of course April is rainy, but it’s warmer, and who minds a little rain when tractors are starting to go by and flowers are everywhere?!!

But February - -

To most moms, even though February is the shortest month, it is the longest month (actually I’ve never talked to any mom who says, “Oh I love February - - it’s my favorite month!”). Every year, in my Valentine’s Day card from Tim, he reminds me that February is almost over, spring is almost here, I’m going to make it just like I have every other February, and to hang in there. Invaluable encouragement when days are long, kids are often sick and spatty, and cabin fever sets in. In more recent years I haven’t struggled nearly as much as when I had babies, but that’s quite likely because the older kids help out so much with household chores and duties. 

As I am writing this, I’m looking out the window at gorgeous blue skies and fluffy white clouds, but this is definitely NOT the norm for February. Rather, February seems to consist of an awful lot of gray. Which can be beautiful, but which can also contribute to the Blues which kind of color everything – well - kind of blue. (Maybe this post should be called February Grays (?).)

At any rate, I regretfully admit that I know no cure for the February Blues. I have some suggestions which I will share, but even with these suggestions, I know the month will be long and the days will not be the best days of our lives. But they can still be good days. God wants it so.

First of all, and this is kind of a no-brainer, but too often I forget  - - – prayer is powerful. I know everyone knows that, but - - - think about it - - - it really is powerful. God knows our every thought and struggle, and He is patiently waiting for us to ask for His help. Especially moms. I know I’ve shared this verse before, but it’s worth sharing again. It’s special and strengthening to me.

He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young. Isaiah 40:11

He knows our weakness this time of the year, and He will strengthen us. He is our Rock.

When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path.  Psalms 142:3a

From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Psalm 61:2

Second. Satan is the father of lies, and he’s good at it. When he tells you you are ruining your kids – he’s lying. When he tells you your kids will grow up with awful memories of Februaries past – he’s lying. When he tells you are a terrible mom, wife, and Christian and a miserable daughter of the King of Kings, he is lying! 

It’s that simple.

Third. When satan whispers that Mrs. PM (perfect mom)(which by the way there is no such person) never has blue days and Mrs. ASM (always smiling mom)(this might be but she still has struggles) cannot relate to your blah days – he is lying then too. He likes to get us to think that we are alone in our struggles, because being isolated and alone is a powerful negative feeling.  But we’re not. Most of us moms have, at one time or another, struggled with blue days – and for me, they most often hit in February. Strange, huh?

Just remember - you’re not alone.  You’re not alone spiritually, because God is always with you, and you’re not alone in your feelings, because many other moms share them. Most moms can relate.

You are NOT alone.

Fourth. The joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10.  In the trenches of discouragement, it can be difficult to praise God, but do it anyway. The very act of thankfulness, of praising God, of counting your blessings, will give new strength, more patience, renewed courage to a day. Purpose to be thankful. Write a list on a dry-erase board. Have the kids help you. Sing out loud. If you cannot sing – pop in a CD and listen. Your children will hear you, and that unexplainable grace will spill over to them, and their attitudes will be refreshed. As will yours.

Fifth. Send 'em out. 

Sixth. I learned this in a sermon years and years ago; it was spoken by a minister in his first sermon, if I remember right. He said something to the effect of, “Just do today what absolutely has to be done.” Think One Day At A Time.

Sometimes in our busy lives we can get overwhelmed by so many things that we don’t have to even be thinking about at all.  You know, all the “to-do’s” of tomorrow. And next week. And next month. The “what-ifs” that very likely will never happen. The hobbies and timefillers that are just that – hobbies and timefillers. Things that we used to do, that we’d like to do, that someday we will be able to do again, but that right now are not absolutes. Scrapbooking. Cross-stitching. Photography. Recipe creation. Etc.

Don’t fall prey to this. Don’t let all those whirling thoughts immobilize you and render you ineffective to do the simple things God has asked you to do today.

Feed children (cold cereal for lunch? That’s ok!).

Keep children safe (no running with scissors, no flips off the bunkbeds, etc. You know, the basics.).

Make supper (pbj? Why not?).

Do laundry (who says it has to be folded, huh?)(or even in drawers, for that matter??!!).

This isn’t a license to surf pinterest for an hour or spend half the morning scrapbooking or catch up with your best friend on the phone for awhile; no, those things need to be denied until your house is kept, your children are cared for, and supper is ready for your family. Do the minimums, focus on the absolutes, and as you use your hands and health to do what God wants you to do, your heart will be lifted up as well. I know this is so because God has shown me over and over. He says it is so, and I can testify that it really is so.  Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens. Lamentations 3:41.

Enough.

I wish I was a better writer and could say what I want to say in less words. I’m working on that. But the reality is that my time is limited, and I tend to type as I think, which is kind of rambly. I could spend much more time stream-lining my thoughts and editing my words, but I choose to post this as is rather than spend that extra time shortening this up.  Kids are inside now, and I need to supervise chores and get supper ready for my family.

One last thought - - - -

HANG IN THERE!

You will make it through February (only 17 days to go!), because God is your strength!

 

The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe. Proverbs 18:10